The Purple Journal

This quote really struck a nerve with me today. I feel like this job is my past, but I cant see the road in front of me that I am meant to travel. And that scares me. It scares me that for the fisrt time, I dont know what I want to do with my life. My ambition seems to have left me. The drive to achieve is gone. I want to do things hat make me happy, not things that feel I have to do. I am sitting at my desk and studying and wondering ...Why?

Why am I studying? What purpose is that going to serve? I am in the wrong place to be attempting to do get this degree and I am feeling the starin of trying to balance it all. After all, it IS Christmas - I should be focuissing on my childen and family and things I want to do, but I have the Black Exam Cloud hanging ominously over my head. No matter what happens with these exams, I will not be studying next year. This is all too much for me.

I was watching Oprah (the repeat at 11.00pm - I never watch it because I get home too late) while having some Milo before bed last night. They had The Williams sisters and Jada Pincket on...I only got the tail end of the show, so I dont know what it was all about, but Oprah said That sometimes failure is God's way of saying "try something else". I feel like I am a failure at studying this year. Maybe I should try something else.